2. I’ve got a moderately unhealthy obsession with true crime podcasts. In no particular order, my favorites are My Favorite Murder, Crime Junkie, and Morbid.
3. The guest bathtub is full of makeup palettes. I have a really bad habit of buying all these products with the intention to put effort into how I look- the only effort I put forth in the morning might be a slight stretch of my arm to snooze my alarm clock.
4. I have HUNDREDS of crochet hooks. I used to ALWAYS crochet. Then I found freelancing and realized that if I spend more time making money now, I’ll have all the time I could want to enjoy crocheting in my future. My aunt and Granny taught me the basics and YouTube taught me the rest.
5. At one point, I used to collect nail polish. Then I realized that it was a waste of money because they’re perishable. I was getting a manicure one time and saw this machine that shook the nail polish for you. When I go back, I need to ask what the estimated percentage of increased longevity of the nail polish spun by that machine. I may or may not leave the salon hellaciously disappointed at the amount of “spoiled” nail polish I’ve thrown away over the years. Also, I don’t math well- so there’s a high probability that if I don’t think about it, it’s not really that much. Except at one point, I was paying like $3.29 (before taxes) for a bottle of nail polish for no less than 4 bottles at a time. So not that I was doing that at least two times a month, but I can’t confirm or deny that I’d spent over $315 a year on nail polish.
6. My phone is almost always on Do Not Disturb. I don’t know why. I don’t know how to fix it. I know how to get it out of Do Not Disturb, but I don’t know how to want to not have it in Do Not Disturb.
7. I finished the first two seasons of Netflix’s You in three days. I didn’t have any shame. I just had a touch of sleep deprivation-induced delirium.
8. I have an unhealthy relationship with office products. I collect the most bizarre assortment of pens (ink, ballpoint, felt...medium, fine, needlepoint… I don’t care) and I actively write in at least 4 notebooks/journals at any given time.
9. To piggyback off of the above, I ADORE lists. I write EVERYTHING down.
10. Apparently, I capitalize words in my writing to convey how excited I am (see above).
11. Fitting that I think of this fun fact to be number eleven. I don’t like odd numbers unless they’re multiples of 5. I don’t know why. It’s been that way as long as I remember. So say I’m treating myself and I get a dozen donuts (treating myself and friends). I’m not going to eat one because that’s an odd number. So I’ll eat two. Later in the day, I’ll grab a third in passing, but not because I’m hungry- I’m bored. I’ll try to walk away at just three. Nope. I’m going to have four freaking donuts.
12. After watching Marie Kondo’s show Tidying Up on Netflix, I did an exurbanite amount of scholarly research (Pinterest) on Kon Mari. I’m happy to announce that folding laundry after it’s been dried about four times because I’m not ready to fold it yet- is a beloved pastime of mine. I have little stacks of tightly folded clothes all over my house because I haven’t gotten to the point where it brings me joy to try to find a place to put all of the clothes that I’ve just folded, because I haven’t gotten rid of anything in a decade, because it all brings me joy. Okay, Marie? It. All. Brings. Me. Joy.
13. Moving on. When I was in college, I used to pump myself up to clean my room in hopes that my friends nominated me for one of those dating shows on MTV where the hot guy gets to creep in your room and decide if he wants to take you out or not. I think the show was called Next… or Disaster Date… I don’t know. It was in the prime of especially trashy American reality TV.
14. I know how to ice skate. Defined as I can make forward and backward movement on a frozen surface with little to no injury to myself whilst wearing narrow shoes with GINORMOUS razors affixed to the bottom of them. The true irony of this is that I learned in Hawaii. I'd like to thank Girl Scouts for that life skill. *takes a bow*
15. My belly button is pierced on the top and bottom (Sorry, Mom). Regretfully, I am opposed to resurrecting my earlier blog, as mentioned, Too Fat for Belly Rings.
16. My tragus is pierced. I don’t even know how to explain it. Please see link provided: https://www.google.com/search?q=tragus+piercing&oq=tragus&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l7.4188j1j9&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-817. Even though I’m thirty-years-old and a mother, I’m not willing to admit how many tattoos I have. So we’ll just stick to the ballpark number of a few, give or take a couple.
18. I waited tables for seven years and I absolutely judge others on how they treat their server and how they tip. Also, it’s not hard to pre-bus your table. It’s just stacking the dishes you aren’t using anymore. *insert shrug emoji*
19. Looking back at number 15, I was reminded of that time I had my lip pierced. And that other time I had my nose pierced (I love you, Mom). In hindsight, I probably should have put I’m in character development in my novel. It’s a psychological thriller with a working title of Somebody’s Daughter.
20. I have four cats, but I’d like the record to reflect that I was crazy well before them. I have the references to prove it should you so desire.
If you’ve made it this far and you happen to think I'm a rad chick, suggest this blog to your friends. Comment five things about yourself. I’d like to get to know you!
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